I started a chronic illness interview series a little over a year ago. I am so happy to introduce Tanya from Mom’s Small Victories. We “met” a few years ago on the internet. I don’t even remember exactly how. I find it ironic that we both have the same name, have a chronic illness, and blog! I got the opportunity to ask her a few questions about her life, blog, and chronic illness. I’m sure you will be able to take away some encouragement!
My Fruitful Home: What is the name of your illness and how long have you had it?
Tanya: I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, an autoimmune disorder that attacks the joints and organs in my body. Symptoms started appearing in November 2001 after the birth of my first son and I was diagnosed in April 2002.
My Fruitful Home: That must of been tough since you were a new mother. Do you find it difficult being a mom and dealing with a chronic illness?
Tanya: Yes! Motherhood is hard in and of itself as we all know but having a chronic illness adds another layer of difficulty both physically and emotionally for me. I’ve had RA since my oldest son was 1 month old and my hands and feet have suffered permanent damage. Although the physical damage is done and my RA is currently well controlled by medicine, I still have to deal with the frustrations of the million little ways RA interferes in my life everyday whether others can see it or not. Blogging has helped me deal positively with my RA and focus on the small victories in my life.
My Fruitful Home: I know chronic illness can effect almost every aspect of our lives. It’s hard when certain parts of our illness are invisible to others. What is one of the things that helps you manage your illness?
Tanya: I’m not normally a rule breaker, but I’m going to have to list a couple things that help me, I hope you don’t mind.
- My family is amazingly supportive and I could not manage my illness as well without them. My 3 sons and husband are my superheroes. They use their super strength to open stubborn jars, their super speed to run up and down the stairs for things I need and their super hugs to comfort me when I’m feeling blue or hurt.
- My planner and wellness journal are my brain on paper. Whether it’s the fact that I juggle 3 kids, a home and a blog or thatRA and its medicines cause it, “brain fog”is very real for me. I have difficulty concentrating and remembering things so I have to write it all down. I bullet journal in my planner and keep track of the factors that impact my RA (my pain levels, weather, moods, hormones, food and # of steps). It’s helped me figure out what makes my RA flare.
- My slow cooker saves us so many times from going out to eat which costs a small fortune for a family of 5. Especially on days I receive my Remicade infusion to treat my RA, I am usually in too much pain to cook and am too fuzzy headed and sleepy from the Benadryl I have to take with it. I love setting the slow cooker before my appointment and having a delicious meal waiting after a tough day. I use it a couple times a week, like on laundry and grocery days too because I know by the end of the day my feet will be hurting and I won’t want to stand to make dinner.
My Fruitful Home: That’s great that you have such a supportive family. That makes all the difference I think. I love the idea of keeping a bullet journal. I have never done one. I also love my slow cooker. I tend to have more energy in the morning, by evening I’m pretty well spent. It’s nice to know your meal is already prepared. When did you start your blog?
Tanya: I started my free blog in January 2011 and moved to my own site in April 2012.
My Fruitful Home: How do you manage your blog, family, and illness?
Tanya: As I said above, my planner is my cornerstone for juggling my blog, family, and illness? Everything I WANT to do is written in my planner. I do what has to be done each day for my family, and the rest depends on how my body feels. On bad RA days, I know I can’t push myself and rest more. On good RA days I pace myself between activities on and off my feet so that I can get through the evenings with the kids’ activities.
My Fruitful Home: I can’t live without my planner either. I use my highlighter to order my priorities. My kids are now teenagers. One is in college and the other is a junior in high school. I do remember those days when my kids were younger. I wonder how I did it sometimes. I guess you just get through it. I was blessed to have help too once in a while. Do you have a favorite song, quote,or scripture that helps you cope?
Tanya: Hmmm, I’m horrible about remembering quotes or song names. I normally turn to reading to help me cope. Getting lost in a book helps me turn off my overactive, scatterbrained mind and escape reality.
My Fruitful Home: I love getting lost in a good book! I’d much rather read than watch T.V. How do your children deal with your illness?
Tanya: Talking about my illness usually gets me emotional but now this question will just make me cry. Of all the hardships RA has caused, it has taught my kids valuable lessons in compassion, empathy and gratitude. They’ve been disappointed but understanding when my RA changes our plans. They know and accept that I try my best for them every day. They slow down the games of “Tickle Monster” just so I can catch them. They tell me to stop before I hurt myself. They get angry at the Enbrel and Humira commercials on TV for misrepresenting what real RA patients can do. They help me with chores even though as my middle son says he’s “whining on the inside”. They bring me stuffed animals and give me extra-long hugs when they know I need it whether I say it or not. They cry with me and tell me one day they will find a cure for RA. I hope so, baby, I hope so.
My Fruitful Home: It sounds like you have some pretty special boys! I know it can be so hard to think about the things we missed out on doing with our kids. I think the characteristics they develop, compassion, empathy, and gratitude, as you said, far outweigh the things they missed. Those drug commercials drive me crazy too They make it sound like all you have to do is take this pill and your life will pretty much go back to normal. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you better. Thanks so much to agreeing to be interviewed! Please go and check out Tanya’s site Mom’s Small Victories.
I hope you will check out the other chronic illness interviews I have done as well.
Thanks to both Tanyas for this excellent interview. I so admire Tanya M for raising three kids with RA. I had one and my RA didn’t start until just after her toddler years. I recognize so many of the adjustments and emotional times Tanya describes with such heartfelt eloquence. Thanks Tanya for your generosity!
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Thank you Lucy for your kind words. It’s a tough condition to deal with no matter when you are diagnosed. The beginning especially is so confusing, scary and painful.
Tanya @ Mom’s Small Victories recently posted…Motherhood and Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis
That must be so hard to deal with on a daily basis, but you sound like a true warrior. I loved learning more about you today.
You have the most kind hearted, warm and compassionate kids it is so lovely that they understand how debilitating your illness is and try to help you out in every way that they can. Well done you continue being the strong woman that you are xxx
Thank you Ana, I’m very lucky and blessed to be their mom. I appreciate your encouragement, some days are better than others! 🙂
Tanya @ Mom’s Small Victories recently posted…In Another Life by Julie Christine Johnson Book Review & Author Interview
I am a big planner too! It sounds very hard to deal with RA but Tanya has such a positive attitude and I really admire her and the way she deals with everything that has been thrown at her!
Thank your Charlotte, I couldn’t live without my planner! I call it my brain on paper 🙂
It’s hard to keep a positive attitude but blogging and hearing encouragement from you all keeps me going!
Tanya @ Mom’s Small Victories recently posted…In Another Life by Julie Christine Johnson Book Review & Author Interview
I love reading these so much! I have a chronic illness and it feels good to read the stories of others
Debra recently posted…Shamrock Pretzel Pops
Motherhood is so hard – I can’t even imagine motherhood with a chronic illness. You are so inspiring – I really enjoyed this read!
Thank you Claire, I think it’s important to share our stories. We all have something we have to fight and endure.
Tanya @ Mom’s Small Victories recently posted…In Another Life by Julie Christine Johnson Book Review & Author Interview
Such a great interview and a great look inside your life with RA. Not many people can see the illnesses that hide inside but effect our lives so deeply.
Thank you Roxanne for taking the time to read and comment. I think it helps raise awareness for “invisible illnesses” like mine.
Tanya @ Mom’s Small Victories recently posted…In Another Life by Julie Christine Johnson Book Review & Author Interview
This really hit close to home for me because I also have RA. It’s so hard to explain to any one how you’re feeling when you look perfectly fine on the outside, but on the inside feel like you’re practically dying some days. I am now a single mom and have a 4 yo daughter. On the days I am just pure exhausted, I will be asleep on the couch for hours because I just cannot keep my eyes open. She’s young so she doesn’t understand, but I have to tell her mommy is sick. Now she knows, if I’m asleep she will quietly go play in her room and ever so often come and give me hugs and kisses and sit with me and rub my head or back.
Shelly @ Behind Blue Eyes recently posted…JumpStart Your Morning Routine
I know how hard it can be raising little ones while dealing with pain and fatigue. I can’t imagine doing it as a single parent. I hope you have some support.
Oh Shelly, I’m so sorry you have to endure RA as a single mom. Fatigue is very hard to battle and it’s so sweet your daughter comes to check on you and give you love. She sounds like a compassionate little girl. If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a comment or email on my blog. We also have a Bloggers with Chronic Illness group if you want info to encourage and support one another.
Tanya @ Mom’s Small Victories recently posted…In Another Life by Julie Christine Johnson Book Review & Author Interview
What an informative piece, well done. I applaud your bravery and honesty and putting all of this up.
Thank you TP, although I’m most knowledgeable about my RA, it’s the hardest topic for me to blog and yet the one that will help patients like me the most. It’s very bittersweet and I appreciate your kind words and taking time to comment.
Tanya @ Mom’s Small Victories recently posted…In Another Life by Julie Christine Johnson Book Review & Author Interview
what an inspiration to women dealing with the same issues. I can not imagine how hard it must be just doing everyday things we take for granted but glad she is keeping a positive look on it all & sounds like she has a great support system.
Motherhood is hard enough without having to deal with a chronic illness.
One of the ladies in my bible study has arthritis and she suffers from it. It’s so hard to see… especially since there really isn’t much they can do for her as she has had it so long.
I can’t imagine living with a chronic illness, and I love that this gives us a glimpse into what it is like. I think that helps bring awareness and helps people to be more understanding.
Thanks you Sarah, awareness and empathy is why I write about my experience with RA. Everyone’s experience with RA is different but I hope my writing helps others.
Tanya @ Mom’s Small Victories recently posted…In Another Life by Julie Christine Johnson Book Review & Author Interview
What a great interview. My husband and I have medical issues so it’s interesting to read about other people living with medical hardships.
Thank you Karissa. I’m sorry you and your husband have to endure medical issues. It’s difficult but wonderful to have an amazing support system.
Tanya @ Mom’s Small Victories recently posted…In Another Life by Julie Christine Johnson Book Review & Author Interview
You’re such a kind a thoughtful person to be open & share these thoughts. I loved reading it & learned a lot
Wow what a strong woman, and what an amazingly supportive family you have! Those little boys sound like they have it all sorted out, and I am sure the care they have shown you during their younger years will make them very fine men when they grow up!
You are such a strong woman! I couldn’t imagine having an illness like this. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Southern Soul
Brittany recently posted…March Goals + The Road to a Better Me Link-Up
Tanya, thank your for sharing your interview with Tanya. Digging the same name. Tanya, the interviewee, it sounds like you have an amazing family. Your sons are learning life lessons that will help them grow into wonderful men.
Yes! Having supportive family is everything. I enjoyed reading more about your journey with RA!
Ughhh must be so hard to have to deal with Oain every day!!! I could only imagine! I did have surgery once and I can definitely say my slow cooker was my bff!
awww…that last reply had me emotional, too, because I can relate. Tanya is a good inspiration not only to her family, but to chronic illness bloggers, too. Thank you for sharing her story!
Thanks for sharing at Chronic Friday Linkup! #chronicfridaylinkup
I’ve been meaning to read this post for ages – it’s been sitting open in my browser for over a month! Yeah, I’m a bit behind. It was worth the wait – a wonderful interview with one of my favorite bloggers. I also have a chronic illness, a blog (2, actually), and sons (2 of those, too!), so Tanya and I have a lot in common.
Thanks for the great interview with an amazing woman!
Sue
Book By Book
Live with ME/CFS
I’m glad you enjoyed it!